1. Is there anything about your family or background that makes you especially passionate about caring for others?

Absolutely. My younger sister had her first surgery when she was minutes old—she’s had 69 so far. When I was little, I thought all families spent weeks in the hospital. I was always around doctors, nurses, and patients. That was my normal. My great grandmother, who had Alzheimer’s, moved in with my family. Keeping her company was my job. I was so excited when she taught me how to peel potatoes. To this day every time I hold a potato, a Great-grandma smile comes through. Grandma is sick, and we can’t take care of her anymore, they said. I knew it was time. Even at 6 years old.

2. How did you get into being a carer?

When I went into labor prematurely, my labor and delivery nurse Rachel, had the most incredible amount of patience and took such amazing good care of me. She was also pregnant and due the same time as me. My angel daughter didn’t survive, but sometimes I think the reason my baby was with me at all was to show me my direction in life—to be there and care for others as Rachel had for me. Rachel had her baby, and we’re still friends over a decade later. I guess I had two great influences guiding my fate. Maybe losing my baby was in some ways meant to teach me empathy and direct me to help people.

3. What do you love most about being a professional carer?

Sounds cliché, but I enjoy the difference I can make in someone’s life. When families become caregivers they stop being family members. Husbands stop being husbands, wives stop being wives. When I come in and take care of the tasks that nobody wants to do, I let the other person be a spouse or a child again. I get to give family members back to their families. That makes me feel really good.

4. What’s your greatest challenge in this work?

I take it all in stride. My experience takes over most of the time without me thinking about it. Like reflexes. The only thing that I can truly say bothers me is when someone asks a person with Alzheimer’s, Why don’t you understand? Or I just told you this an hour ago. People who aren’t empathetic to another person’s affliction is hard for me to watch.

5. What’s the secret to a great relationship between a carer and a client?

Complete honesty. And that builds mutual respect. Nobody wants someone in their home who is going to be fake. If a Care Pro doesn’t love what they do, the client can feel it. They want someone who can talk truthfully about what is going on and treat them like real people.

6. Will you share with us a rewarding moment you’ve had as a Carer?

Recently, I was working hard to get a bed-bound man clean. It took a good hour. I was really struggling and sweating, and he was uncomfortable. I was talking to him, trying to make him feel at ease, but he didn’t say a word. When I was done, he looked at me and softly said, Thank you. And I remember feeling so good about helping him. Those two words made that all worthwhile. All carers have little moments like that and they feed your soul.

7. What do you like to do outside of work?

Always, always, always at the gym. I run obstacle course races. Knit. Crochet. Spend time with my little girl and my friends. Sleep sometimes.

8. Name one thing about you that might make people say WOW!

Most people don’t know that I am really good with a bow and arrow. They don’t picture me toting around a compound crossbow—but I’m a pretty incredible shot. I go to the range and shoot arrow after arrow. It helps me relax and concentrate. Almost meditative.

9. What do you collect?

Easy. Coffee mugs. I love coffee mugs. When my friends travel they always bring me back one they think I might like. The only rule is you have to have actually been there, not just passing through. I have about 150 so far. Now you know my weakness.

Noticing the Signs

Loved ones might notice that there are missed doctor’s appointments or that medications are left untaken. You may have observed failing hygiene, household chores left undone, or house pets or plants that aren’t tended to as well as they should be. All of these can be initial indicators that home-based care assistance could be beneficial. More severe signs may be distracted driving, difficulty remembering names, dates, or addresses, or that already present safety and health concerns become more acute.

Although discussing home-based care might be uncomfortable or embarrassing, such assistance can help encourage a greater sense of independence, aid with transportation and mobility, and can help to ensure that health care needs are met promptly and with appropriate attentiveness and urgency. A single awkward conversation can be the first step to getting your loved one the help they need.

Full or part-time services are often all that are necessary. Staffing agencies can often be the easiest approach, since they locate the carers, handle payroll taxes, and perform all administrative work and conduct background checks. This is a relatively easy way to find qualified and verified home-based care professionals. Another option is that you would hire a nurse or other caregiver directly. This would place the burden of performing the background check, as well as verifying references and credentials, on you. You would also be responsible for payroll taxes, National Insurance contributions, etc., which can often seem a bit overwhelming. However, it’s possible that it could also save you money. It will ultimately be up to you to decide what’s best and to ensure that your loved one’s needs are met.

1. Nap when your loved one naps.

Lock the doors and place a cot, oversized chair or bed next to them. Take a cat nap when they do. Yes, there are many other things you could be doing while they sleep. However, this is an opportunity to squeeze in time to care for yourself, and you need to make it a priority.

2. Snack when your loved one snacks.

You may be too tired to eat three big meals a day, and that can lead to snacking on High-fat, high-sugar foods. You can change that. When you make snacks for your loved one, make them as healthy as possible and make enough for yourself. Try whole grain crackers with slices of cheese and apples. Serve small cups of soup and half a sandwich. Create a colorful plate of sliced oranges and grapes. Prepare a morning snack and an afternoon snack. Pour water in the good wine glasses and add a slice of lemon. If you have to prepare snacks anyway, why not make them appetizing for you and your loved one?

3. Relax for 10 minutes.

Set the timer and sit down. You can fold the laundry or sort through the mail while you sit down with your feet up. Turn on your loved one’s favorite TV show, make a cup of your favorite tea, coffee or hot chocolate and watch it with them. If they don’t have a favorite show, then find one that you like and watch it together. Do some deep breathing exercises and do not get up until the timer goes off!

4. Breathe in fresh air.

It doesn’t matter what climate you live in; you need fresh air. Whether it is a hot, dry southern climate or a cold northern one, you need to breathe in the outdoor air at least once a day. It’s good for the lungs and the mind. If your loved one can’t go outside, stand in front of an open window. Bundle them up if the weather demands it and then let the fresh air in. Do deep breathing exercises and teach your loved one to do them with you. In a matter of minutes, you will feel refreshed.

Caregivers give their all to their loved ones – all day, every day. Caring for yourself can seem impossible unless you begin to look at it differently. Most caregivers aren’t going to ask relatives to step in so they can take a day off and even fewer are going to take the time to go to a spa. However, if you think of the small moments in the day in which you can care for yourself along with your loved one, it will seem easier to accomplish. Read more about how to take care of yourself in our blog post, “How Caregivers Can Avoid Depression.”